I’m not going to lie… my “journey” towards my move to New York has been the most frustrating, exhausting, disheartening thing ever. It’s not that I’ve ever been naive to this whole thing, and I haven’t ever felt like it was going to be easy, but never had I ever thought that I would have had to experience so many negative feelings as I have had.
The whole thing is one big mess in my opinion and yet nothing can really change my mind about going.
Maybe I’m crazy. Who knows? All I know for 100% certainty is that I want to be there. As you can probably tell by my lack in writing, the job hunt hasn’t really been fruitful. This has caused me to, in all honesty, believe that it’s so much more important to know someone than it is to have a degree (or even two). While this isn’t anything new, nor did I just come upon this revelation, I guess I figured with all the hard work I had done to accomplish what I have would score me something great. Or maybe you’ve gotta have luck and I just don’t have it.
I don’t want to make this entire post about the negative; one bit of good news I can report is that I’ve heard back from a couple of federal jobs and one looks hopeful (keep your fingers crossed, please). I’ll keep this posted.
Basically, this entire process has been very difficult for me and I have this constant feeling of everything happening without me – as it currently has been going. Thing is, a lot is out of my control and that I think is the most frustrating thing ever. I’m tired of being patient. I’m tired of questioning myself, my skills, and wondering why I can’t catch the break I feel I have been waiting for deserve. And I realize a job isn’t even the sole headache. Once I finally make that move, I then need to worry about moving my stuff – finding a moving truck to move that stuff, finding someone who will drive that truck for me, the stress of a move of my entire life from one state to another, and trying to settle into a new city.
Meanwhile, I wait and that’s all I can do… I must say this road has been bumpy, and I’m just ready for those road workers to come out, so to speak, and make this road smooth and nice for me. But I guess I’ve never really felt accomplished for myself in completing a task unless it came with obstacles; and I believe this will all make me stronger in the end.
I’ll just remind myself that everything will be alright, sooner or later.
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