Man vs. Bear, just because
What’s shakin’?
I have to start looking for a job today. I bet you’re surprised, all like, “What? Amateur comedy doesn’t pay the bills?!” I know, right? I am not looking forward to the job hunt process. I am looking forward to having a job and earning some income and bringing a little more structure in my life. Especially if I can find a job that really aligns with my interests and skills.
Who am I kidding? I only wrote that in case potential employers find my blog. Working sucks.
Since I have to devote time to my job hunt today, I am taking the easy way out and posting some random bits and pieces you may find entertaining. First off, I took a couple baby steps forward this week. I performed really well at the Up & Comers show at the Rivoli on Monday night. The gentleman who runs the room, Morgan, told me I can come back for their regular Monday night comedy, which was my goal. I am very excited to be able to perform there among some of the best comics Toronto has to offer.
Secondly, I gots me an agent yesterday. She is a very ambitious and capable agent, and everyone on her current roster is doing very well. Don’t expect to see me in commercials next week, or even in the next year. There obviously won’t be any overnight results. But it’s nice to have someone on my side who can make my hard work (and modicum of talent) go even further.
I also received another sign that I am becoming a huge star. Someone criticized me on Twitter! Check out this woman’s tweet:
http://twitter.com/ms_jones74/statuses/6311703444
Shit, my first burn! I love how she threw my name out there as if it is a known entity. Her followers on Twitter (yes, all 64 of them) were probably like, “Who the f*ck is DJ Demers?” Well, Curvy Jones, you have insulted my honour and I must respond. Let me just say that you can make fun of my comedy, but don’t you dare insult my music critic skillz! But I must thank you for specifying that you are in fact the Real Curvy Jones. I almost thought you were the fake Curvy Jones for a minute there.
Have you seen Stephen King’s new book, Under the Dome? I know it is easy to make a joke about Stephen King’s prolific output and seemingly half-baked ideas, but this one is too much for me. Is there any doubt he thought of Under the Dome while watching The Simpsons Movie? “Hey, that’s really funny. I bet it could also be scary.”
Last week, I exchanged phone numbers with another comic named Chris. She was typing her name into my phone and when she typed in the first two letters, the auto-complete on my phone suggested ‘Chloroform’. This frightening auto-completion led her to question what skeletons were hanging in my closet. She recounted this story to an audience last night before introducing me to the stage, so I had address the incident head-on when I took the mic.
“There’s a simple explanation for that chloroform story,” I began. “You see, chloroform is the drug that I use on girls before I rape them.” This drew a raucous response, but I obviously could not end the joke there, lest they actually believe it.
“I’m just kidding. They’re always awake when I rape them.”
God, I love my job. Well, I guess it’s more of a hobby than a job until I start making some money from it, but I love it regardless. Now I’m off to find a real job. Thanks for checking in, folks.
(By the way, I must state for the record that there is nothing funny about rape. The humour in that joke lies in the reversal of expectations. Rather than assuaging the audience’s concern that I may be a rapist, I merely confirmed their fear – twice. But rape is bad, we all agree.)
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