Actually there are three quests; the quest for a therapist, the quest for a job and the never-ending quest for stability.
So first up: the quest for a therapist. And also a doctor and a new psychiatrist. There are surprisingly few CBTs around here, which really limits my options. But ever mind, we’ll work with what we’ve got. I’ve shortlisted three and will be phoning them over the coming week. Again. They’re proving tricky to get hold of. I will also need to see a psychiatrist in Brighton rather than Reading. Again, this is proving complicated. First I need to register with a doctor, preferably before I run out of meds, and then I should be able to get a referral. So I suppose I’m not really in the system at the moment. It’s an odd feeling.
Second: the quest for a job. This is obviously proving difficult. I had an interview the other day, but frankly I’m not prepared to work 11am-8.30pm for 12k a year in a job that would stress me into a breakdown and rapid cycling of epic proportions. I’ve been scouring the internet and local newspapers for jobs and applied to literally everything I could feasibly do. I may have to swallow my pride, suppress my ego and go work in a shop for a while. I’m thinking of applying to be and HCA. Think I can manage it?
Finally: the never-ending quest for stability. It never ends does it? I thought these meds were working but this week they really haven’t been. I was depressed for much of the early week then I chirped up Friday and went mental instead. I think I might be fighting off the low now, or it might just be that I’m sleepy because I’m very, very anemic at the moment.
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